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8/20/10 11:03 pm - Sales post~ Gintama, Code Geass, Lamento, Togainu no Chi, and more~

I haven't checked LJ in months so please excuse me quietly posting to sell some things and clean out my closet. OTL I need to get rid of things I haven't used in years because moving from place to place over and over while carrying it all is a pain.

lots of pictures and goodies for sale under here~Collapse )

3/8/10 05:08 pm - welp

Is it really already March?

I'm pretty much neglecting LJ entirely and haven't even looked at my friend's list in a month. Twitter is so convenient that I can't bring myself to come back here. Every time I make an LJ post I feel like I have to make it long and with a purpose, but I can't remember everything important that I wanted to say so I end up rambling about nothing instead. I can update Twitter as every little thought hops into my mind, though.

So, to summarize everything in my life in a nutshell:

* My life lately is like seeing a delicious-looking cookie on the ground and wanting nothing more than to have said cookie, but there is a glass wall between me and the cookie. I spend every day ramming face-first into the glass wall to get to the cookie but have so far failed miserably.

* I am, however, getting a lot better at seeing this unemployment situation in a positive light. I have more time to explore long-neglected hobbies and am becoming a lot more aware of my personal strengths and career interests. A year ago I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but every day that fuzzy dream is becoming more clear. I just have to be patient and find the right job to achieve these personal goals.

* I've found peace of mind in that even if I don't find the best job in the world and am doomed to be broke forever, it doesn't matter. I can eventually find happiness in whatever situation is thrown at me (though I wonder if this is a bad thing? Perhaps this acceptance of bad situations makes me less inclined to do something about them).

Anyway, FFXIII comes out tomorrow~ \o/ Very excited.

Throwing my every little thought onto the internet is still a thousand times easier on Twitter, so if for some reason you are masochistic enough to be interested in the details of my life, look there. I have changed my Twitter username so if you want it, feel free to ask. As always, leave your username in the comments and I'll be happy to follow you~. LJ is just too much of a time suck.

Once again this post doesn't even really SAY anything and yet it sucked up like 30 minutes of my time;; i quit

1/21/10 02:05 am - O HO HO

operation GET HIRED continues! I finally found a good pot of local companies hiring people at my experience level (read: no experience) by using my brother's login info to peek at his school's career finder page, which is infinitely easier to use than my school's shitty one which has a horrible search system, few job listings, and barely works with my browser. I found a little list of jobs that caught my eye so I'm gonna shoot for them even if some listed requirements feel a bit beyond my reach (dear everyone that wants years of work experience for an internship or entry-level position: ffffuck yyyou).

I spent the day tweaking my resume and cover letter so I'll have an application in by tomorrow.

I found out that my university back in colorado is having a career fair next week so I decided to go for it. Even though the event is in colorado, there are more companies with offices in my hometown in texas than there are in colorado, so I think it'll be a great opportunity to shove resumes in faces without anyone being able to hide from me behind a phone or computer. Leaving Friday and staying for a week. \o/

I wish I'd done all of this sooner instead of believing my mom's wild "I know someone who will hire you and pay you a bazillion dollars" stories. She keeps insisting that she knows someone who wants to meet with me to discuss hiring me but this person is always mysteriously busy and "can't meet until next week". 2009 me would have believed that shit and used it as an excuse to sit around doing nothing, but 2010 me is not going to wait for that crap any more. 9A9 I should have done this in the first place. Good 'ol 20-20 hindsight.

yaay career fair yaay colorado \o/ I miss colorado more every day and almost wish I hadn't left, but I guess without this free rent my loans would really be murdering me. The interest payments are insane so I definitely need to kill this loan off entirely as soon as possible. While I don't mind living with my mom and prefer it to living alone (I'd get lonely;;), texas is boring and i miss all of my old favorite places to go and actually being able to WALK somewhere. The only places I want to go that will let me take a nice walk at the same time are all downtown but every time I walk around there I feel like I'm gonna get mugged;; But in the unlikely event that I am ever wealthy I'd like to buy a second home in colorado for summers TAT)/

Speaking of my shitty loan, since I finally got the money my grandma left for me when she passed away, I was going to pay off a little chunk of my loan. When I view my loan online I can see several different loans with several different interest rates, so naturally I wanted to pay off the loans with the largest interest rate first. I called the loan office to ask to make a payment directly toward the high interest loan, and the rude fast-talking lady said "I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD VIEW YOUR LOANS SEPARATELY :U YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LOAN WITH US AT ONE INTEREST RATE I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ARE SEEING THAT OTHER STUFF I CAN'T SEE IT YOU CAN ONLY PAY TOWARD THE ONE BIG LOAN BYE." Apparently they took all of my tiny loans at various interest rates and... added them all up with an averaged interest rate and are forcing me to pay it that way (despite the varying interest rates and fact that half of the loans are government subsidized and the other half aren't). Can they even do this?;; Why the fuck do I pull up a bill that looks totally different from what the people receiving the payments get to see? Something about it just seems very very wrong; should I keep bitching to a customer service rep who doesn't give a shit or should I give in and just pay the stupid way they want me to? D:

I had my payment plan all worked out and the last time I called the loan people they were even telling me "yeah pay off the high interest and unsubsidized ones first", so now that they are telling me something completely different I don't know what to say. orz

Tomorrow's goals = 1 application in, find a suit that fits, attempt to walk in heels without dying, pack for my flight on friday. \o/

1/13/10 03:25 pm - video gaaames

I've been spending my week alternating job listings searches and playing video games. Apparently there is a career fair near the end of January in Boulder at my old college. Very tempted to go, but if I somehow DO get hired for something I'd have to move back. I'd LOVE living in Boulder but would not love paying for it or the snow /)_(\ but might go anyway since a lot of the companies also have offices in Texas that they may be willing to staff + interview experience and a little networking wouldn't hurt.

At least I know that I can be happy with whatever job I do eventually find, because in these 23 years on this planet I have learned that I LIKE working as long as I know that the result is going to be of help to someone and that I don't need a lot of money to be happy. My ideal weekend isn't shopping and a football game and a fancy dinner and drinks; it's a weekend at home in front of a screen in my pajamas with a home-made meal and a glass of water in my hand. My mom never had time to take me anywhere as a kid so I never got family outings or summer camps or extracurricular activities, so I am a professional at keeping myself entertained and busy. :'D

I spent all of yesterday playing chapters 3 and 4 of Tales of Monkey Island. THEY'RE SO GOOD. ;A; The most fun I've had playing a 3D point-and-click adventure. Telltale Games are my heroes for reviving my old favorites in a way that lazy ass LucasArts didn't feel like doing because the genre wasn't flashy or profitable enough to please them. orz You can get the PC version here, but my computer sucks so I play on the Wii (the games are in the WiiWare store too~). The final chapter isn't on wii yet and apparently nintendo will only put it up when they feel like it. 9A9 the cliffhanger at the end of chapter 4 is killing me aaaaa

ALSO just watched the english trailer for FF13 and it gave me goosebumps! The voice acting is fantastic! Even though most reviews I've read of the game are negative I look forward to it with a wide eyed innocent hope. ;A; Deep in my heart I.. I want to believe that Square still knows how to make video games... and it can't possibly be worse than FF12 unless the characters become silent automatic zombies a few hours in again

Here is a magical find for the week:

↓↓the most amazing video game voice acting I have ever heard ↓↓

I now want whatever game that is so very badly. My stomach hurts from laughing. orz

edit: kldjgh "I don't even know you, but you need to die." is now my favorite video game quote ever

1/11/10 09:29 pm - POTATO FUCKING SALAD

hello internet i probably have important things to say but

but instead this is a post about potato salad

i made up a recipe and it's good so i am just going to throw it here because this post will probably be around longer than the tiny torn scrap of paper that my recipe is currently scrawled on.

I RECOMMEND IT TO EVERYONE WHO ENJOYS POTATO SALAD (which i assume is everyone because seriously who the hell in this world doesn't like potato salad)


perhaps I will post more of the strange recipes I frequently make =/)= they're cheap and delicious and i've been eating the same small handful of recipes on rotation for like a year. orz

if anyone has any similarly easy recipes to share i'd love to know 'em *A*)/

1/9/10 08:34 pm - 2010!

I can't believe it's 2010! That's.. TEN years since 2000! I.. I don't know how to handle this please someone build a time machine

I spent the last three weeks with R here to keep me company. My mood improves so much with him around that it's disturbing. Helped me keep my mind off of life crap so I could just enjoy the holidays. TAT I got to ring in the new year with ahvia and beetlefreak in the best possible manner (AT AN ANIME CONVENTION YEAH) but now everyone mentioned in this paragraph is back to school and I feel lonely again and am again reminded of the fact that I have no friends in my own hometown. orz the very first thing R said after returning from the anime convention was "you have really nice friends :D " and he is 500% right ;A;

But before said friends were in town I was spending my days flipping through job listings, feeling downhearted by them, then sleeping for half the day and spending every moment awake like a zombie. Was completely uninterested in anything and none of my hobbies sounded appealing any more. Aren't these symptoms of depression?! oh god;;

I just spent another two hours browsing job listings. Same problems that I've encountered before: few jobs listed and of those even fewer desirable positions for people who want to become business professionals. Of those jobs, they usually have two sections of offers: one for interns for current students who don't know how to do shit but want to learn and one for people who have several years' worth of experience. I fall into neither category and thus feel unwanted and want to go curl up in a ball in a corner and vomit;;

In any case, I can only move up from here, so I will shoot for the stars. ;A;)/

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS that I likely won't keep:
* get a job that doesn't suck at a company that doesn't suck
* get a car
* lose 5-10lbs
* stop worrying and panicking over every small mishap and try to not let bad situations get to me
* draw more and get back into other hobbies
* improve at cooking
* stop wasting what little money I have on things like figures broke this one on the first day of the new year thanks to a little togainu coupling figure TAT
* become a generally less disgusting/worthless/spineless human being orz

I think 2009 was the most unproductive year of my life and though it was fun I feel like I completely wasted it and threw a lot of opportunity out the window (proud of myself for the high GPA but apparently it's meaningless so screw it). Good job, me.

Here's to making 2010 a bright one. ;A;)/ Good luck to me and everyone else who still reads this terrible terrible terrible journal.

Though this journal has all but been flushed down the e-toilet (I haven't really checked my friends list in over a month), I've been updating my twitter account daily. I think something about this big LJ text box makes me want to fill it, so posts go on and on and on and feel kind of exhausting. orz

12/14/09 02:17 pm - hooray christmasss

Spent the weekend attempting to spread a little Christmas cheer around the house. \o/

my cute little tree ;A; hooray for plastic because it doesn't make me sneeze.
It has lovely rainbow lights that you can't see because of the camera flash. orz

Put up a tree and wrapped gifts. This year was fun because I actually had TIME to shop without being stuck in finals hell until 2 days before Christmas. I could also proudly spend money I earned myself instead of merely scraping together the remains of my college budget *A*)/ My house definitely needed some Christmas cheer; every year I've been in college my family had no tree, no stockings, did nothing together (other than a brief dinner with relatives to watch them argue), and pathetic gifts that were either IOUs that would never be filled or cards lazily stuffed with cash. I feel like having a Christmas where two people exchange cards that both have $20 in them is stupid. Be creative! ;A; I hope my gifts-pile and tree will inspire people to try a little harder. I think Christmas should be less about cash and more about showing someone you spent some time thinking about them.

I can't wait to deliver them all ♪ If you'll be in Texas for the holidays, let's get together and do something.. FESTIVE

I have Boulder gifts to deliver, too, but have to wait until I can afford a plane ticket there and for R's jerk roommate to move out. Hopefully I can go back by mid-February~

Also I think I am finally getting used to twitter and wonder how I have lived so long without it orz miniposts are so much easier to digest and the character limit keeps me from rambling on and on forever like this post

it's like being in a chat room that never dies with only people that you care about ;A;)/

this weeks mission: finish gift shopping/wrapping, clean up the chaos, and sell unwanted stuff. There's a ton of old junk in the garage and I was told I could keep all the cash for if I could find buyers for it★ IT'S ALMOST LIKE HAVING A JOB.. ;A;

12/11/09 08:01 pm - tweedle dee dee

Spent the week meeting awesome people (who may know good people who need a good hire, ohoho~) and finishing Christmas shopping. There's also more cleaning to do~. Before I cleaned the house up, this place was a DUMP. My mom is even more of a packrat than I am, so I had to get rid of stuff that's been collecting dust since elementary school, old clothes with holes in them, and food that expired in 2007. My mom objected at first (she even wanted to keep the expired food; "I'LL USE IT I CAN STILL USE IT REALLY I WILL USE IT") but eventually gave up and helped clean, so now everything is sparkly and nice. \o/

Gonna try to set up a Christmas tree some time this weekend. \o/ And get all of my gifts wrapped~

So R recently went to a career festival aimed towards bilingual Japanese citizens. One of the companies hiring was none other than SQUARE ENIX so I forced him to apply because I'm a jerk. Squeenix turned him down, but they gave him... a FF Mandragora keychain for trying. :(

He gave me said keychain. When I hold it tight and close my eyes, I can feel the presence of Square Enix rejecting me through it.

Apparently they are making Starry Sky into a TV anime! *A*)/ that makes it this year's (well, it comes out in 2010 b-but) THIRD opportunity to see a show about random things being turned into fine looking young men. :( Hetalia did countries, Miracle Train did train stations, and now Starry Sky will be doing... astrological signs. Delicious, mindless fujoshi fodder *A*

Also! I've started to use Twitter. I don't like it (yet) but I feel like it could be interesting/useful with a little love and people to follow. My Twitter is here; same username as this one. I look forward to filling it with my every meaningless thought \(=A=)/

If you're on Twitter, too, comment with your username and I'll be happy to follow~

12/6/09 08:02 pm - ho ho ho

Welp, car's gone. I'm kind of relieved because now I can plan things a little better. Going to wait on getting a new car until I make sure I have a secure career-building job that isn't going to explode on itself like the last one did. =A=

Asked uncle just to confirm when (if?) I would ever be getting the inheritance check he was supposed to mail out a month ago, as said in my grandma's will. Instead he left a long angry message on my phone saying that I should have my mom arrested. orz I finally got my mom to admit some wrongdoings but she says most of the things my uncle was blabbing about aren't true, but now she's more determined than ever to block her siblings' calls and cease all contact with them. I'm sick of being stressed at their constant bickering so I'm just gonna PUT ON MY HAPPY HAT and ignore them. 9A9

I have an appointment with my school's career service center next week, a resume ready to polish and perfect, and a bucket of holiday motivation. I'm gonna find something perfect. *A*)/ And when I find that one company I want, that one position I want, I will attack it with everything I've got. I'm the type who usually takes it easy, but when I find something I reallyreally want I grab onto it like an alligator and won't let go or take no for an answer and might break someone's limbs along the way. *A* My problem is just finding said Dream Company and looking for an opening in this horrible economy. Hooray for graduating in the worst possible year! \o/

My brother graduated yesterday. And I found out someone else I've known since he was in third grade (I was in first) is getting married. It creeps me out; stop growing up, everyone. ;A(\ aa my babies

Spent my day making a giant mess in the kitchen and buying Christmas presents for everyone unfortunate enough to encounter me this holiday season. ♥ Also downloaded the Bayonetta demo to mess around with tomorrow. I suck at action games but hey I'd do her. :(

12/2/09 01:41 pm - =A=

Just spent all afternoon filling out auto loan papers. Didn't end well because apparently I need to make a deposit (that no one told me about before THANKS AGAIN KIA) that I can't afford. Might lose my car. It looks like it's true that the only way to get loan money is if you can prove you don't need it. =A=

I'm quickly tumbling back into the "I have no job so I can't get a car but I have no car so I can't get a job" loop that I've been stuck in for the past several years. orz
How does one even get out of a situation like this? I don't have any responsible relatives to turn to. orz I don't think the combined funds of my entire household would be enough for even just my auto loan's down payment. I have no idea how my mom's work is coming along, but the fact that she's suggested we live on $10 cash for the entire week is ppprobably not a good sign.

And it's freezing and wet outside I want a nap. ;A;

edit: oh god look at these recent entries i am pathetic

edit 2: i suck

edit 3: jesus

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